Dear friend

You know sometimes life presents itself in such a way that we feel so wounded and fumingly angry, even remorseful...except we can’t do pretty much anything...At this point we are so devastated we don’t like anything ....don’t know what to do....don’t want to listen anything....
Yet people around us notice the change, and if they care for us, THEY DON'T LEAVE US ALONE. Even the ones we never actually connected to gets slightly concerned of our loss, even if it is for a moment. All of them try and comfort us, console us... which is good except that what they don’t realize is that they are only freshening up things which our brain desperately wants to get away from in order to function again normally.
You know, I am not going to console you or say anything along the line that it’s going to get alright. Because we both know it’s not going to get alright....it never does. Things once done can’t be reverted and that is universal truth. We can either deny it or accept it but we can’t run away from it.
No one can ever say anything that may help anybody get over it....still you can’t stop living!!

Still Fighting

Never sensed such ecstasy,
content with everything......
Felt like a princess, lived like a queen!!
Anticipation in heart, spring in my steps,
twinkle in eyes, smirk on my mouth....
I was flying in the air, soaring high,
carefree as an eagle....pristine....

I knew,
was so damn sure...nothing could go wrong;
Not now,
when I was walking on the clouds,
blinded by overconfidence,
setting aside all the doubts......
Burying the worries deep inside,
tossed all the subtle warnings,
refused to take note of anything...!!

I never really saw it coming,
Or
Maybe i never really wanted to.....
And all of a sudden,
completely out of the blue,
there it was,
gawking at my face................smirking back!!!


Darkness so intense, engulfed everything.......so completely!!!
Leaving me astonished....dumbfounded.....
Though it was all over the place,
surrounding me,
within me,
still i couldn’t embrace it...!!
It cut me off from everything,
one and all,
even from itself!!
I couldn’t see, couldn’t say....
couldn’t be seen, couldn’t be heard...
made me despondent in every possible way!!

Ohh!!
Never felt so poignant, desolated, solitary.....
Dissatisfied with myself,
felt empty, started living like a ghost!!
Despair in heart,
heavy steps,
eyes blinded,
mouth grim!!
Hauled from the sky, wings tattered, thrown on the ground..!!

I know,
perfectly well....
I can never be certain...
Not at this instant, when i have nothing up my sleeves, nowhere to head to.....stuck in a never ending black hole!!!
Not anymore.....

Regardless of everything, my soul struggles....!!
Repudiating the prophecy..!!
Refusing to give up...!!
Continues skirmishing, till my last breath deceives me...
Fighting with all its might, all the energy...
Fighting for fresh air,
for daylight,
for freedom,
for LIFE...!!

Its still fighting....!!!

Why does everything keeps changing...???

Welcome to the planet of “change”.
It’s the only constant thing in the ever altering world of ours.As soon as I get adapted to one......next thing I know it’s not even there!!!
And no I am not talking about facebook statuses!!

Imperatively, time changes....Then people change...Values and morals...As do friendships and relationships...Followed by innumerable minuscule things leading to a colossal alteration....!!!
We are always so busy, we don’t even realize or I guess, we close our eyes to the fact that how one diminutive wave could be the word of warning for the upcoming tsunami.
I agree that change does endow with a scope for betterment, yet, sometimes it shakes us from the core of our being....
It requires ounces of courage; an era of mental conditioning to tide over an unwanted change.(Trust me, I know it by experience)
Maybe it’s because we are afraid to leave the sanctuary of known and wander over to the unaided territory of unknown.
It’s so much better to be acquainted with what’s going to happen; to be in no doubt that this is stable and will remain so perpetually....
“The Knowledge gives power”;with it comes self-assurance and security; a sense of elation....
But then...Wham...there comes the change and everything transforms...!!

I think it is just like tides on seashore; washing out my footsteps, my sand castles conked out and converted into shapeless mounds of wet sands...But hey!! It also gives me an opportunity to make new imprints on the sand, better ones; to build even bigger and stronger castles...

When i try to visualize it in a new light, i notice the countless avenues it brings to me.Only i should really know how to use the change in my favour; how to turn those avenues into opportunities and opportunities into success...

On a final note, maybe i don’t want to change my way of life, or for that matter I don’t want to change anything....primarily for the reason that i don’t know how to deal with change.....I am used to the way everything is and i dread the unfamiliar the change will bring........
HAIL CHANGE.....!!!
Swati Ray